November 18th
“Untitled No. 2”
God this isn’t really fair
But for Christ to do
What he did, nobody cares
What is fair
And I know I’m complaining
And I know I need your help
Not only physical, but to cure my mental distress
I know this is just another test
But my confidence is waning
And I’m complaining
Ant this just isn’t right, to complain
But my faith is lacking
And I desperately need your backing
God by all rights I should be dead
And through your strength, I managed to stay alive
And I worked so hard to get back to where I was
Now, for the last month, I’m on a downward trend
And I’m back to nowhere again
Christ I’m ready to despair
It just seems as if no one cares
And it all seems so really unfair
But Lord help me to regain the faith
Of what was once my strength
Lord I feel like really copping out
And I just want to cry
Christ please help me to regain the strength and vigor of
what I once was
Lord, I sound like I want sympathy, but all I want is health
and I’ll take
Care of the rest, but Lord it’s always been so easy for me
when I’m healthy.
And maybe you just want me to refeel what I once was. Christ, I honestly
Don’t know. Lord
please give me faith and help me not to despair.
7/19/77
Robert P. Wallman
Ps And Christ maybe
my goals are too selfish and for my own physical good.
Help!
The medical profession still has no idea what happened to me
all those years ago.
They are still in a quandary today about my diagnosis. However, I don’t think
That anyone doubts that I am very sick. They just don’t know the reason.
I believe that I know, but I can’t scientifically 100% prove
it at this time.
Yet there has been scientific proof over the years.
It doesn’t really matter anymore. God is in control and I am trying to live
A life totally surrendered to God.
Rpw 2-26-11
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